Why, khandu, that's an easy one! The identity of "mystery writer" is no mystery to me!

It's not Rustic Rebel because there's no mention of bodily fluids. It's not Rapaire because the post doesn't smell like potatoes. It's not Bee-dubya because there's no profanity. It's not Little Hawk because there's no mention of Shatner. It's not Stilly River Sage because she knows how to spell "submit".

Therefore, by the process of elimination, I have concluded that "mystery writer" is obviously Amos. Unless, maybe, it's Tweed. Or Chongo Chimp. Or Gluon the Cosmic Duck-Dog.