What can I say? These two have great grit and determination. I remember reading about that horrible accident and wondering what would happen with the children.--SRS

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Published: Sunday, June 18, 2006
Family First
A young couple works to keep siblings together after a tragedy.


MARYSVILLE - He never really questioned what he would do. The decision wouldn't be easy, though it was obvious. Tyler Ringen and his wife, Fawn, had to keep the family together. The children had been through enough. They deserved a place to feel safe and someone to cry and laugh with them. They needed someone to guide their futures. They needed to know they would always be loved. Tyler Ringen, 25, and his 23-year-old bride understood. It was up to them to care for Fawn Ringen's three teenage siblings after the death of her parents.

Darrell and Sandra Knapp and their son Noah, 6, of Marysville died last year after a pickup truck hauling a travel trailer smashed head-on into their car on I-5 near Marysville. The couple left behind five children. "We needed to keep the family together. What kind of person would I be if I didn't?" Tyler Ringen said. "I don't ever recall discussing what we were going to do. There wasn't anyone else."

The Ringens, who married just two months before the crash, have since moved into the Knapp family home. They live there with their son Isaiah, 2, and three of Fawn Ringen's siblings: Amber, 17; Jeanine, 14; and Tony, 13. Their brother Alex Knapp, 21, lives in Everett with his wife.

The Ringens had their first child Saturday. Dove Ringen was born at 6:34 a.m. Their courage and dedication to the family has awed those around them. "My husband and I are so proud of both of them," said Tyler Ringen's mother, Marla Ringen. "The day it happened, you could see the determination in their eyes."

The young couple is following in the footsteps of Darrell and Sandra Knapp. The Knapps were fiercely caring, compassionate and giving to children in need, their daughter said. They opened their home to more than two dozen foster children. They later adopted five children. After the crash, the Ringens became the custodial guardians for the three teens.

"They were terrified of where they would go. They'd already lost their biological parents and now this," Fawn Ringen said. "I didn't want to see them thrown back into the system." Her husband makes it possible to keep the family together, she said. He makes it possible for her to continue her parents' legacy. "He's my best friend. I don't know where I'd be without him and his family," she said. "I probably wouldn't be able to do this."

Her husband shrugs off any praise about opening up his life to his sister's siblings. He loves his wife. He loves her family.

Marriage gives strength

"In his mind, Tyler just did what he had to do," Marla Ringen said. "He stands behind Fawn, but I don't think every 25-year-old, newly married man would take on these responsibilities." The Marysville man, a boat builder at Meridian Yachts, said it was his faith in his wife's abilities that helped him believe they could take care of the children.

"I wasn't sure how I would do, but I knew my wife was able," he said. Tyler Ringen met his wife about four years ago through a mutual friend who lived across the street from her family's Marysville home. They built a friendship. He encouraged and supported her through her pregnancy with Isaiah, calling her every day and taking her out once a week. He came to the hospital the day Isaiah was born. "My mom adored Tyler for that," Fawn Ringen said. Their friendship slowly grew into more, and the couple married in March 2005. Ringen adopted Isaiah. The little boy calls him Daddy.

In the months following the crash, the couple have been adjusting to their new roles. "It was important to both of us. We didn't want to be Mom or Dad," Fawn Ringen said. "We're not here to replace them. We're here to step in." She had helped her parents extensively with her siblings, some of whom have special needs.

At times, the new responsibilities have been challenging for her husband. He draws on what his parents taught him as they raised him and his older brother, he said. He's learning to supervise the teens' grades and school attendance, and how to hold them accountable for their chores. He's also learned to check in with his wife before he agrees to their requests, and that he needs to be bit sterner with discipline.

"I'm here to keep them going in the right direction," Tyler Ringen said. "I hope I'm learning."

Little time to grieve

The Ringens have been working through their own grief even as they guide three teens mourning the loss of their parents. The last couple of months have been especially trying as the couple have sorted through some medical and other concerns with Tony, Fawn Ringen said. "It's not easy on any of them, but had they not taken them, well, I think it would have been tougher," Marla Ringen said.

The teens also have had to adjust to the changes. "We're trying to get used to it," said Amber Knapp, 17. They like hanging out and watching "CSI" and "Stargate" with their brother-in-law. Tyler Ringen has found a "partner in crime" in Jeanine, 14, who also likes to ride four-wheelers and throw water balloons at unsuspecting targets, Fawn Ringen said.

The Ringens said they draw strength from their faith in God to see them through the rough patches. They also have had endless support from their families, the Atonement Free Lutheran Church and the community, they said. Fawn Ringen has become closer to her husband's parents, who have welcomed everyone, she said. "We're all family to them now," Fawn Ringen said.

And as the couple's household grows again, they feel they have the strength to protect and nurture what matters: their family. They know they made the right decision. "It may be too much, but it's not too much for us," Tyler Ringen said.