Hey, Ernest:

All good advice (I'll make a couple of minor suggestions regarding your list in a minute.) I'd also add a comment that applies to all performers... the most obvious of all: each audience is different, so be ready to throw your set list out the window if you feel that you aren't connecting with them after the first two or three songs.
By the third song, you should have gotten to know a particular audience well enough to know what the're going to enjoy, just by their response. After many years of performing, I announced tongue-in-cheek that I'd decided that I wasn't go to do any more concerts(as an introduction to a "concert" I was doing.) I said that I thought I'd just come up and sing and play some songs, talk with the audience and we'd just enjoy ourselves. It somehow loosened everyone up. I stopped following a set list... had a list of potential songs and keys to look at for inspiration, but let the audience determine my set list by their response.

Any performer is always a performer on some level, even in a song swap in a living room. But, the stage patter, memorized introductions and one-liners get boring real quickly... for many performers, as well as their audience. Each performance should be unique, because each audience is unique.

As for breaking up the evening with instrumentals or songs that people can dance to, that's not realistic in most U.S. venues. You'd break your leg tripping over a folding chair. That said, a good performer (all of these comments seem to apply to more than singer/songwriters) paces an evening, sensing the mood of the audience. For a songwriter, it's helpful to mix in some better known songs of your own (if you've established some level of recognition) or of someone else's or a familiar traditional song.) Newer songs (self-written or not) carry better if mixed in with songs the audience knows. For pacing, it's good to break the mood periodically.. not every other song. Mix in enough songs with choruses to keep the audience with you, and don't string together too many ballads. I've heard (and booked) some wonderful traditional singers who made the mistake of doing two or three 20 verse murder ballads, or songs about historic battles in a row. I once heard a songwriter (who writes songs in a traditional style based on historical events almost exclusively) actually put several people sound asleep in a mid-afternoon workshop. He didn't vary the rhythm, or energy level from song to song.

For songwriters, never say "Here's a song that I wrote that you all know, so you can sing along with me." I've heard that introduction on occasion (and I'd never heard the song) and I thought it was amazingly conceited. Unless You wrote Skip To My Lou or She'll Be Coming 'Round The Mountain When She comes, there are bound to be people in the audience who've never heard you, let alone a particular song.

A favorite introduction that used to bug me in the 60's (used by songwriters and non-writers as well) was "I will now attempt to play." Man! If you're only going to attempt to play a song, get off the stage. Attempting is for high wire artists.

In my real-life, I was Director of a Museum. When staff members would come to me with an idea for something they wanted to do, my first question was always "Who is your audience?" Always start with who your audience is, whether you're a singer or singer/songwriter.

Good thread idea, Ernest. Keep 'em coming...

Jerry