As a hostess, I do try to watch how my guests are doing and if they seem confortable. I can usually tell by the conversation, wild eyed looks, etc. if the type of music or volume is bothering them and I will immediately excuse myself to either change it, turn it off altogether or turn it down.

I believe it is the host/esses duty to see that guests are accomodated and have a pleasant experience. But, I also think it takes practice. Peter, since you were the senior professorial there, I would suspect she was probably nervous and a bit intimidated, which may have had some bearing on how she reacted. Who knows how she and her husband, your student, may have felt. He might have been on tenterhooks about entertaining you and how it might reflect on his standing with you. I don't take you to be that type, but not knowing the student etc., I am just offering a possible speculation (is that redundant?:-)

katlaughing