Anon, because if this song sucks, you may feel more willing to say so. After all, I may have ulterior motives or something...

The song was written with the full awareness that I'm not above doing some of this stuff myself. Tune is...your favorite 4/4 tune. I find myself singing it to Turkey in the Straw, with a modified 2nd part.

Since my name is legion, feel free to add verses.
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The Way The World Should Work
By Anon.

Your ideas make me frantic, and I might sound quite pedantic
When I intstruct you how to rightly use a word
If you use a nasty name, I will quickly end your game
By explaining how to conjugate the verb

Chorus:
Oh, I'm the one who'll tell you what is right and what is wrong
And if you don't agree, you are a jerk
It would be a far, far better place if I were put in charge
I'm the only one who knows the way the world should work

And now to music let us wander, on my wisdom you may ponder
For I am regarded as an expert in the field
I don't like the stuff, it's true, but I'll gladly share with you
Countless facts my research has revealed

I'll provide applicable citations, from this and many nations
And endless variations, by eminent folklorists
If you know a song not in a book, I fear you're sadly mistook
For if it isn't written, there's no proof that it exists.

And in our long discussions, there will be repercussions
If you vary from the topic, and carry it astray
For I will strongly object if you stray from the subject
And complain for the good part of a day.

If anger is expressed, oh, I will write a manifesto
On how all good people should behave
And you'll forget the fight you had and call me ignorant and sad
And in this way the harmony I save