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OLGA PULLOFFSKI, THE BEAUTIFUL SPY
(Bert Lee / R. P. Weston)

(Voice announcing arriving guests:)
Colonel and Mrs Mango-Chutney
Major Curry of the 19th Member Force
Their Highnesses the Raja and Rani of Mesomethuselum
Mademoiselle Olga Pulloffski

(Voice in alarm:)
By Gad, get onto the War Office at once; it's Olga Pulloffski!

(Music begins:)

The scene is a military ballroom.
The gallant and fair are the dancers;
But who's the brunette,
Who with eyes black as jet,
Fascinates all the guards and the lancers?

She's Olga Pulloffski, the beautiful spy,
The gay continental rapscallion.
Some say that she's Russian
And some say she's French,
But her accent is gin and Italian.

Shame on you, shame on you! Oh, fie, fie!
Olga Pulloffski, you beautiful spy!

She waltzes around with the general,
And while on the floor they go whirling.
She robs the old sport
Of the plans of the fort
And she'll sell them for ten-million sterling.

Olga Pulloffski, the beautiful spy
Will soon make him know what disgrace is.
She'll leave him with only
His top boots and spurs
And his pair of red, white and blue braces.

Shame on you, shame on you! Oh, fie, fie!
Olga Pulloffski, you beautiful spy!

(Bell chimes once)
(Voice announcing the time in ringing tones:)
Twelve o'clock and all's well.

(Voice echoing the other voice:)
Twelve o'clock and all's weeeeeellll!!

The secrets of our Tower of London
She sold to some great foreign power.
It was not Anne Boleyn
Who at midnight was seen
Walking round in the Adjective Tower.

'Twas Olga Pulloffski, the beautiful spy.
The Beefeater she bribed with kisses
Would willingly've given her all the crown jewels,
But he'd lent them that night to the missus.

Shame on you, shame on you! Oh, fie, fie!
Olga Pulloffski, you beautiful spy!

At last she was caught and court-martialled.
The Colonel said, "We hate to hurt you.
Of course, it's all rot,
But you've got to be shot."
And she powdered her nose and said, "Good show!"

She's Olga Pulloffski, the beautiful spy.
The firing squad tenderly kissed her.
Then the Captain said, "Fire!"
When the smoke cleared away,
They hollered, "Hooray! We've missed her!"

She is too young and too fair to die,
Olga Pulloffski, the beautiful spy.

Shame on you, shame on you! Oh, fie, fie!
Olga Pulloffski, you beautiful spy!

{As sung by Len Bermon & Henry Hall.]