"RUTLAND ROCK LAUNCH DISRUPTED"

From our science and jumble sale correspondent.

Officialdom stepped in today in the shape of Anglian Water to halt the planned launch of a rock into the depths of a local lake. A spokesperson for the authority told the Stamford & Rutland Mercury that it was strictly against the byelaws to hurl foreign objects willy nilly into the water without prior permission and submitting a full Risk Assessment and Method Statement. Besides which the rock may fall on and injure a passing trout thus depriving the AWA of much needed revenue from fishermen. The spokesperson added that water quality and the actual supply of the same were of secondary importance in this issue.

A man is due to appear in Court on Wednesday week to answer charges regarding the malicious dropping of a boiled sweet wrapper. It is not thought that the two incidents are connected.

A recent spate of bicycle thefts are thought to be the work of a London gang......................