Nathan Hale is probably the best known but least successful American agent in the War of Independence. He embarked on his espionage mission into British-held New York as a volunteer, impelled by a strong sense of patriotism and duty. Before leaving on the mission he reportedly told a fellow officer: "I am not influenced by the expectation of promotion or pecuniary award; I wish to be useful, and every kind of service necessary to the public good becomes honorable by being necessary. If the exigencies of my country demand a peculiar service, its claims to perform that service are imperious."

But dedication was not enough. Captain Hale had no training experience, no contacts in New York, no channels of communication, and no cover story to explain his absence from camp-only his Yale diploma supported his contention that he was a "Dutch schoolmaster." He was captured while trying to slip out of New York, was convicted as a spy and went to the gallows on September 22, 1776. Witnesses to the execution reported the dying words that gained him immortality (a paraphrase of a line from Joseph Addison's play Cato: "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country."


But what if Nathan Hale had sold out to the British? What if, upon being arrested and brought to trial for espionage...or even upon the scaffold at the penultimate moment he had loudly declared:

"This is all a tragic error! My loyalty to the Crown is unshakeable. I sing 'God Save The King' three times every day, with tears in my eyes! I hate the revolutionaries! They are all seditious scum. They kidnapped my wife and children and forced me to spie for them, the fiends! They blackmailed me and threatened to shoot my dog, Ruffles. Their perfidy knows no limits. George Washington is a corrupt, lying, incompetent fool who should be shot, beheaded, and buried in an umarked grave! Patrick Henry is a lascivious, wife-beating, vainglorious fraud! Ben Franklin copulates with farm animals! They are all traitors to the one great man in this world whom I admire MOST and to whom I would swear my life, my honor, yes even my last drop of blood! Our noble monarch, King George III! Yes, how I admire him! Set me free at once that I may join the blessed redcoated ranks and met out deadly retribution upon these filthy revolutionary traitors!"

And then, bursting into song, he sang: "God save our glorious King..."

What if? How would he be remembered today? Would he be remembered at all? How might it have affected 8th grade history courses in the USA?

Would the British have been naive enough to not execute him?

These are all questions worth pondering, and the Mudcat is the place in which to ponder them.