You are an absolutely typical dachshund, Dashing. ;-D My advice is, bark and bark and bark until it drives everybody in your place nuts. It will make people nervous, and they'll spill food on the floor and drop plates and stuff. The instant the food hits the floor...it's yours!

Another good routine is to drop by the neighbours' place if there's a barbecue happening, and steal fool...or beg for it. Cute behaviour can go a long way with strangers who haven't grown cynical regarding your charms. Little kids are also easy to steal food from, because they're not that far off the ground either...but I mean the really small ones. Avoid bigger kids like the plague! But I didn't have to tell you that, did I?

You might also look into stealing from very small dogs...like chihuahuas, shitzus, that sort. Some cats can also be terrorized into abandoning their supper, but it depends. Taking on the wrong cat can be a rather nasty experience, to say the least.