This was a humourous poem written by a neighbour of my Dad's. I have sung this as a folk song.....use your own tune.......


I was shopping in the high street, when a man came passing by.
He handed me a leaflet, which said "The end is nigh".
It was terribly convincing. I was sure it must be right.
It even specified the date, and gave the time of night.

This meant, of course, my shopping list was suddenly all wrong.
A month's supply of anything was twenty days too long.
I wouldn't need the batteries to put in all my clocks,
And when I bought detergent, only chose the smallest box.

In fact there was no point in doing washing after that.
Likewise I cared no more about the thoughts of getting fat.
Instead I just ate sweets and stuffed on curries like a pig,
And the time appointed found me smelly, bored, depressed and big.

But when the time appointed came, life went on as before,
Except I'd cleared my bank account, and weighed a whole stone more.
So now I spend my weekends on the treadmill at the gym,
And if I see that man again, the end will come for him.


Best wishes, Mike.