From the singing of Oscar Brand:

Come along boys and listen to my tale
I'm the horniest bastard on the old Chisholm Trail
And come and tie my root around a tree, around a tree
Come and tie my root around a tree

A steer went crazy and I had to kill it
Shot it in the ass with a long-handled skillet
And come and tie my root ...

The boss said, "Boy, you'd better shove
That steer you shot was my own true love
And come and tie my root ...

Jumped for the saddle, but the saddle wasn't there
Rammed ten inches in the old grey mare
And come and tie my root ...


From "Sing Along Bawdy Songs And Backroom Ballads"