Version H is from "Roll Me Over" by Harry Babad. 1972 Oak Publications. Version I is from "The Dirty Song Book" by Jerry Silverman. 1982 S/X Press.

[H]

Saddled old Bollie and headed for the herd,
He threw me off in a fresh cow-turd.
Gonna tie my pecker to a tree, to a tree,
Gonna tie my pecker to a tree.

I was coming down the mountain by the old cow-trail,
With my pecker in my hand and a heifer by the tail.

The hair on her head was a piss-burnt color,
And the crabs on her ass was a-fucking one another.
I jumped from the saddle and threw her in the grass,
And pumped salvation up her dirty rotten ass.

It was damn fine doings but I ran it too close,
And I wound up with a hell of a dose.

I was in bed six weeks before they turned me loose,
Soaking my cock in tobacco juice.
Last time I saw the boss, haven't seen him since,
He was screwing a cow through a barb-wire fence.

And now my song is ended, I can sing you no more,
There's an apple in my ass, and you can have the core.

[I]
With my foot in the stirrup and my ass in the saddle,
I gotta round up these sonofabitchin' cattle. Chorus

They sent me to the boss just to get a little roller,
I thought I'd go to town to get some tallow on my pole-a. Chorus

Oh, I rode and I rode and I rode to the south,
Till my horse's old tongue hung out of his mouth. Chorus

Now, little Fanny Walter was a nice fat squaw,
She lived down by the Chickasaw. Chorus

Well, when I met her I offered her a penny.
She said, "I am sorry but I haven't got any." Chorus

Well, when I met her I offered her a nickel.
She said, "I'm sorry but that wouldn't buy a trickle." Chorus

Well, when I met her I offered her a dime.
She said, "You'll have to try some other time." Chorus

Well, when I met her I offered her a quarter.
She said, "By God, I'm a cowpuncher's daughter." Chorus

Well, when I met her I offered her a half.
She said, "God dammit, I ain't no calf." Chorus

Well, I went to her house, laid a dollar in her hand.
She said, "Young man, can you make him stand?" Chorus

Oh, I took her by the waist and I throwed her down,
And my balls hit her ass before she touched the ground. Chorus

Well, I fucked her standing and I fucked her lying;
If I'd-a had wings I'd-a fucked her flying. Chorus

Well, when I got up she called me "kid."
She said, "You'll remember me," and by God, I did. Chorus

In about three days I began to feel sick,
And my underwear stuck to the end of my dick. Chorus

The very next day my prick turned blue,
I got so scared, didn't know what to do. Chorus

I went to the doctor with my cock in my hand,
Said, "By God, doctor, it's the worst in the land." Chorus

The Doc took a look and then said, "Cough."
I coughed so hard my balls fell off. Chorus

The doctor he rolled it with a little blue stone.
Says I, "Goddam you, doctor, let that alone." Chorus

Now every time I go out to pee,
Blood and corruption come from me. Chorus

And every time I go out to piss,
I think of the gal who gave me this. Chorus

The last time I seen her, and I ain't seen her since,
She was fucking a cowboy through a barbed-wire fence. * Chorus

The last time I seen her she was floating down the stream
With a handful of money and a belly full of cream. Chorus

So that's my story of my search for tail,
And I'm back punchin' cattle on the Old Chisholm Trail. Chorus