The Festival is going really well. No serious injuries so far this year, just a few cases of hand cramps where some of the men have been giving themselves gratification. The music has been first class and 'strummers' (the new Folkie instrument of the moment) have really taken off. Bodhrans have also taken off but in a slightly different way...the are the new frisbies and throwing them across the river, out of the reach of their owners is a good new game.
Another new sport...Banjo chasing..has started and several Banjos have been seen floating on the river pursued by owners.
Mingulay, I was distressed to find it was you who hit the headlines with the "Nut screws washers and bolts" thing. I will instruct my colleagues at the asylum to give you special attention. Castration has just been introduced to the operating schedule at the local Hospital so perhaps they will arrange for you to visit.
Some people have been suffering temporary blindness in the mornings this year and I would suggest you lay off your night time activities whilst here to avoid this problem. (Too much CAN make you blind)
Looking forward to a lot more great music today:-

Bog off Folks...The travellers.
Four strong winds...The farting quartette
The trees they do grow High..The crap lumberjacks
The leaving of Liverpool...The sensibles
The water is wide...The bodhran players
The Lambs on the green hills....The Welsh adventurers
See y'all there