Festival organisers are searching for volunteers to act as torches for the closing ceremony, A personal supply of flammable gel and high pain threshold are the only qualifications. Matches will be provided. Torches can only extinguish themselves by wading into the river, the use of Fire Hydrants being prohibited due to the water shortages.

BLACKUP COCOA DANCERS will be providing the end of festival entertainment. Last year's unfortunate event involving strangely carved wooden fertility symbols and the 6th form from Blitherscrum High has been covered up - sorry forgotten.