The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #93254   Message #1794262
Posted By: hesperis
27-Jul-06 - 01:28 AM
Thread Name: BS: So how is everybody?
Subject: RE: BS: So how is everybody?
Let's see... depressed, poor, unhealthy, need $10,000 more in loans by the end of August to completely fix my life (and that of the people I care about) and have no way to get the loans. Banks don't care that by borrowing that much I'd be setting up for a job I could actually physically do that would make $60k a year or more. Allergies pretty much have me a prisoner indoors right now, I can't even go outside to enjoy the lovely summer because I start going completely voiceless and get chest pains and become so weak I can barely walk to the damn grocery store and back. (I can dance - *indoors*) I'm already taking as much medication as I can afford while still eating.

Family can't really afford to help, government simply won't help... the usual. I'm sure you're all very tired of hearing about it but guess what, you're probably way less tired over it than I am.

And it being ragweed season, I'm feeling suicidal. There being no hope of changing the situation, I don't have much to fight the suicidal feelings with right now. But that's normal. Happens every year since I can remember. I just have to batten down the hatches and make it through ragweed and then through leaf mold, and then it'll be winter and I can breathe without pain again, and look for a job again, and maybe make enough to get enough treatments this winter that it'll never happen again. That's assuming the gov doesn't kick us out and we can LIVE until November.

Aside from that, I'm doing a collaboration with a guitarist and have gotten quite decent at some aspects of 3D art. And for the first time in my life I have a decent midi keyboard, so I'm learning how to play again.

A friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend and thinks he has nothing to live for. He has health, and skills to get a decent job. And he thinks I'm ok just because I have a decent relationship. Ironic, eh?