"They've committed a murder and it's not like taking a trolley ride together where they can get off at different stops. They're stuck with each other and they've got to ride all the way to the end of the line and it's a one-way trip and the last stop is the cemetery."

"That was the most fun I've ever had without laughing."

"Honorary Doctor! They might as well appoint me Honorary Idiot."

"Why is he smiling like that? My father never smiled like that in his whole life?
Undertaker: Well, he's going to smile like that forever, now. Courtesy of the Wolf City Development Company."