I spent the best part of 50 years of my life for the most part playing for myself at home and it's only over the last couple of years that I have ventured past that.

I enjoy it now and get a really positive kick out of it and find it a constant surprise that it doesn't scare the life out of me. I also kick myself that I haven't been doing it for the past 35+ years! Over the last couple of weeks I've started to play at places where I/we are on stage and the centre of attention rather than being part of a singaround (and getting it paid for it which is a bonus) which is what I have been used to for the last couple of years. I think I have always wanted to play in front of people but never felt I had the self belief to do it.

I think what has changed is ME accepting that I'm good enough to do it - or good enough that people can enjoy what I do - and also a realisation that I have some sort of responsibility to entertain them rather than trying to entertain myself or 'get it perfect so that I can play it to others'. It has taken me a long time to get over some of the self doubts (does my guitar playing sound crap and cliched? am I singing in tune? does it sound ok?) and I'm sure there will be more to come yet. Perhaps also the fact that my 14 year old son does it without batting an eyelid has made me rethink things!

I have definitely moved out of a few comfort zones on the way (horrible phrase I know but does describe it), perhaps the hardest surprisingly singing in front of my mother, but it has definitely been worth it. I'm not going to headline anywhere and I'm not going to be the main act and tour the folk clubs but I am happy to take my guitar and self to places and play for others. Where it ends up who knows but it is a wonderfully liberating thing to get to here as it was something I genuinely didn't believe I would do (I think I knew I could but didn't see that I ever would). And there is huge enjoyment in that.

For the most part I think people aren't that free with their praise generally - perhaps with the exception of a singaround situation where there is a lot of support and encouragement and where sometimes the amount of positive reaction is more in line with the amount of hurdles that the singer or player has managed to climb rather than whether the performance was something you would ever wish to listen to for pleasure - so part of me coming to terms with it being ok for me to stand up and try and entertain people is that people have sought me out and made positive noises.

For Tim - at the risk of offending you -
Don't play if it makes you unhappy - what would be the point? When you came and visited us in North Yorkshire it did come across how very difficult you find it to start playing and that is within what I hope and think is one of the most non threatening and supportive environments I have some across for people to play. Once you got going though you seemed fine.
At some point you have to either accept that people are telling you the truth or not - if you can't then that's up to you. But there does come across in your posts such a lot of anger (and even a hint of self-pity eg when you got dumped from the band) that it does suggest that it's something that really frustrates you and that you would like to enjoy. If that IS the case then it's worth persevering with because you might find a degree of the pleasure in performance that others do.
And do pop in and see us next time you are in North Yorkshire and give us a song :)