As you know, I was faced with this issue recently. Fortunately, I had had time to discuss things with Bonnie and I knew what she wanted. She wanted to be cremated and an informal memorial gathering held where people would share memories and tell stories of her life. The cremation was arranged through a local service which offered direct cremation, where they come and pick up the remains from the place of death, arrange for the death certificates and all paperwork, and deliver the remains back to you. They will also sell you urns and such, but I got no sales pitch for that at all. They were very professional and very helpful.

We chose a wooden urn made by Trappist Monks at a monastery in Iowa. Bonnie approved the choice before she died. Some of her ashes will be scattered at significant places and I'm not yet sure what I will do with the rest, so I'll just hang on to her for a while.

By contrast, I played at a funeral for a friend who died 3 days after Bonnie. This was a Baptist funeral and had a totally different feel to it. Personally, I prefer the way we did it.

Jeff