Spare us the pain"? Oh for crying out loud, Helen. Anyone can see from the previous posts we must all be somewhat masochistic, so please bring on your best (or worst) whichever you consider it. Just to prove how masochictic some are, I submit the following:

During the reign of Alexander the Great there where many folks with powers long forgotten. One was Alexander's personal alchemist. He designed for Alexander a piece of cloth which was soaked in certain chemicals. These chemicals would change color with the passing of time. He advised his master that if he would wear this piece of cloth on his person that he would instantly know what time of day it was by the color of it! Alexander took the rag and wrapped it around his wrist, much like a modern day watch. This new invention soon became known through out the land as.......Alexander's Rag Time Band.