This is a version I've been singing for years -

1) I don't care if it rains or freezes,
As long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation.
Me and plastic Jesus will go far.

CHORUS: My plastic Jesus, my plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car,
I don't care if it rains or freezes,
As long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car.

2) I don't care if it's dark and scary
As long as I've got magnetic Mary
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
I know that I'm protected amply
'Cos I've got the whole damned holy family
Riding on the dashboard of my car.

3) When I'm going fornicating,
I've got my ceramic Satan
Screwed down to the dashboard of my car.
Women know I'm on the level
When they see that stoneware devil
Leering from the dashboard of my car.

4) Magnetic Mary smug and smiling,
Jesus dainty and beguiling,
Knee deep in the shagpile of my car;
You can buy them phosphorescent
Glow in the dark. They're pink and pleasant,
Lighting up the dashboard of my car.

5) I don't care if it bumps and jostles,
As long as I've got the 12 apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car.
Don't I have a pious mess?
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car.

6) You can buy that sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
Pedestal of abalone shell.
Going ninety, I'm not wary
'Cos I've got that Virgin Mary
Guaranteeing I won't go to hell.

7) Now I'm afraid he'll have to go
'Cos his magnet spoils my radio,
And if I were to crash, he'd cause a scar;
But I think I know what steps to take.
I'll nail him down for old time's sake,
Nail him to the dashboard of my car.