Success (of a sort)

A quiet morning at work means I found this on the Internet! Unfortunately it was originally transcribed by someone who didn't speak much French; I've tidied it up, but the first line and the 'bidet' line still defeat me.

Any ideas?

Rusty.


CREPE SUZETTE

SPOKEN:
My next song, is un chanson d'amour, a song of lurve,
he loves her, and she loves him, but they cannot be marriade.
Because they are too closely related, they are, husband and wife.

It's called, it's called, "Crepe Suzette" which is in English "A Flaming Hot Dish", and so is Suzette..."

SUNG:
Anis Sior, Que Alis Pansonori?, Faut t'jour, Reconnaissance
Hammersmith Palais De Danse, Badinage, My Crepe Suzette.
Double Entendre, Restaurant , Jacques Cousteau, Yves Saint Laurent
Ou est la plume de ma tante?, C'est la vie, my Crepe Suzette.

Corsage, Massage. Frere Jacques?
Salon, Par Avion, Petula Clarke.
Fiancee, Ensemble, Lorgnette, Lingerie, Eau de Toilette
Gauloise, mmmm, Cigarette, Entourage my Crepe Suzette

Citron, Mirage, Caravelle,
Ordeuvres, Brut and Chenille, Chaise longue, Sasha Distel
Fuselage my Crepe Suzette

Pas n'est, Bidet, Bidet?, Commissionaire,
Mon repos, Bridgette Bardot, Jeux Sans Frontieres.

SPOKEN "It's a Knock out innit? Yeah The song, not the French!"

SUNG:
Faux Pas, ennui, Espionage,
Brie, Camembert, Fromages
Mayonnaise, All Night Garage
R.S.V.P. My Crepe Suzette