Mother Hubbard's Blues.

My fridge is empty and my pocket book is too
My fridge it is empty, and my pocket book is empty too
If I can't find something to eat right soon, God knows what I'm a-going to do.

Looked in the larder, all I saw there was an empty plate,
Looked in the larder, nothing there except an empty plate,
And a bowl of cat food - and I tell you, that cat food looked just great.

I looked at the cat, and the cat looked me in the eye,
I looked at the cat, and the cat, she looked right back in the eye,
She says, "You touch my food mister, I swear it won't be long before you die."

Grabbed hold of that bowl, and then I grabbed hold of a spoon,
Grabbed hold of that bowl, and then I grabbed hold of a spoon,
Cat was scratching and biting and chasing me all round the room.

Woke up this morning, feel so sick and so sore
Woke up this morning, feel so sick and so sore
Got scratches all over my hands - and my pussy cat don't love me no more.

Looked in my larder - it was empty, the cat food was gone
Larder was bare, and all of the cat food was gone.
Looked out the window - why, that dog's got a fine juicy bone...

Now that is a song in exceedingly poor taste. (Some Dog biscuits on the other hand taste quite good, I used to sneak them when I was a kid. And I can remember my mother asking the butcher for a nice juicy bone for the dog, and we'd make soup out of it before he got it. But Cat food -I never could fancy it.)