Abby,

Thanks for the Powerpoint file. I'm a bit worried now because I feel like the stressed cat on the first page, and maybe I look like that too.

The cutesy pictures clash rather nicely with the sayings too.

Okay, next joke:

Stop me if I've told you this one before. (Ha ha, I'm unstoppable *BG*

Three pieces of string go into a bar and sit down at one of the tables. They argue among themselves about who is going to go to the bar to order the drinks, because they're pretty sure the publican doesn't serve alcohol to pieces of string.

So the first one goes up to the barman & says, really confidently, "Three beers thanks, mate!"

The barman says, "Sorry I don't serve pieces of string. Go somewhere else."

So the first one goes back to his mates and says, "Come on, let's go somewhere else. He's not going to serve us."

But the second one says he'll give it a go, so he goes up to the bar and orders three beers but the barman says "Look, I already told your friend, I don't serve pieces of string here, now clear off!"

So the second one goes back to the table and says, "Let's get out of here. He won't serve us."

But the third one says, "Hang on a minute, I've got an idea."

He stands up, ties himself in a knot, musses his hair up a little bit and goes to the bar. "Three beers thanks, mate!"

The barman looks at him suspiciously and says, "Wait a minute, aren't you a piece of string?"

And the third guy says, "No, I'm afraid not!"

Sorry, sorry - just keep working at it and you'll get it if enlightenment eludes you. Saying it aloud helps.

Helen