"So much for all you idiotic bigots that slagged it before even seeing it!"

Well this idiotic bigot went to see it and, although I was secretly hoping to love it, it was the same dumbed-down write it large Hollywood crap that has been turned out for years.

Firstly, Dave's Wife's review was pretty much spot on. The belly laughs in this film came thick and fast (we'll leave the misogyny aside for the time being). The 'Celtic' connection was a gem - if this was the best the script writers could come up with (ever heard of research?) then mainstream American film mking is truly in the shite. It wasn't even a compentent rehash of new-age mumbo jumbo, but a dot-to-dot mishmash of the sort of pseudo-celtic bilge that is really only good for writing on the inserts of those wishy-washy ambient CDs you find in shops in Glastonbury.

The performances were wooden, with Cage and Beahan slurring out their lines with all the enthusiasm of actors who know how pointless it would be to try to make this drivel sound convincing. Cage's line of 'step away from the bike' was nearly as gut-wrenchingly funny as The Duke proclaiming 'truly he was the son of God' - this was actually worth the price of admission alone. I pray it was put in as a joke.

The storyline, which roughly parallels the orginal but centres around the Islands commercial bee-keeping, was so full of holes as to be rendered useless. We are told the island has no phones, no computers etc, but in the opening minutes we see Cage looking at the island's website - superb! The little interludes with the mobile phone were priceless - Cage waving it about like Spock did with this tricorder, until it finally rings in the final minutes and he is cut off - as subtle as a man stading next to you throughout the entire film hitting you on the head with a wooden mallet whilst bellowing "he's cut off from the outside world!" in your left ear.

The final indignity, lifting the end of the film from the original (except for the risible coda in the bar) showed the crushing lack of imagination that afflicted the film all the way through - faced with a genuine opportunity to bring a new ending to the story and truly distance itself from the first film, the writers and director jibbed and went with the virtually exact same ending. So if you need it writ large: COP OUT

The original is not a perfect film. It's flaws, however add to the charm of the film and seem to increase the atmosphere and feel of the whole piece. Whilst the remake does undeniably look good in places - the design of the film was it's only strong point - it really is a triumph of style over content. But with the occasional execption we're used to that from Hollywood these days.