How can you dumb down...
Give it to Hollywood?

Evidently. I just watched this....this...thing....and I am taking refuge in alcohol just to live with myself. (Happily, I downloaded the movie so as not to encourage them).

Awful. Just incredibly A-W-F-U-L.

No cultural context, as previously noted. They didn't even know the NAMES for their deities--they're literally offering a human sacrifice to "gods and goddesses of Nature!!!" And have you ever heard anyone explain their cultural roots by referring to "my Celtic ancestors"? Last I heard, there were seven Celtic nations and we know which one our ancestors came from...since they had different countries, languages, music, economies etc.

The pacing and timing of everything was so choppy, there was no buildup of suspense whatsoever. A matter that was handled superbly in the original, as they undertake the procession, completely lacking in the remake.

-Good God, the MUSIC. Make it stop please! Burn me in wicker, I don't care!!! Bring back the faux-folk songs--they were so much better than this grade-C "very-anxious-moment-that-goes-on-and-on" tripe.

Logic and continuity errors are so abundant they actually form a kind of continuity. Like:

-he's a California motorcycle cop who seems to think this gives him some authority in Washington. Whereas the state and federal authorities seem to have overlooked entirely the demographic irregularities of Summersisle. Puget Sound isn't exactly the ends of the earth. They're like 40 miles from Seattle.

-You have the right to have flashbacks! All the time! They don't have to make sense!

-he wears a suit jacket, shirt and tie everywhere on the island...looks even more like a dork than usual. Doesn't he own any t-shirts? Even swims in his shirt. Jeez.

-this secretive, private community has a seaplane, piloted by a non-member, coming by EVERY DAY with packages...of what? Most islands I know tend to get their supplies by boat.   

-Malus (Cage) has spent a week bicycling all over the tiny island...then in the last minute suddenly notices a 100-foot high structure on high ground in an open field. Guess he was watching for geoducks on the road before.

-His cellphone doesn't work all week, but it rings...can he not send a text message? ("Help I'm trapped pls snd double latte")

-Just how is it, again, that they keep the men subjugated? They just know their place or what?

All in all, I believe I've seen enough of Cage's patented "running around with his mouth open in confusion", which is 90% of his screen time.

Leelee Sobieski's cute though. It seems that's her job.

W-O