The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #93975   Message #1832994
Posted By: Charley Noble
12-Sep-06 - 06:12 PM
Thread Name: BS: Funerals and Other Boring Stuff
Subject: RE: BS: Funerals and Other Boring Stuff
How did I miss this thread?

As usual I'm posting late and nobody will bother to check out my words of wisdom.

First, though, I love Micca's song.

Second, I too dread boring funerals which probably includes the vast majority that I've experienced.

However, I go to funerals or memorial services of close friends as an expression of solidarity with them whatever the program is. I don't expect to see a program in advance or a menu but when one send out with the invitation it is appreciated.

Being an athiest generally means that I don't have a clue what to expect from a traditional religious funeral. One of our close friends was a Russian Orthodox and I enjoyed the incense and the incomprehensible singing. I dutifully lined up to say good-bye to the departed and was somewhat dismayed that everyone was kissing the corpse in the open casket, but I screwed up my courage and kissed the corpse too. (whew!)

My father's memorial service was carefully planned, scheduled about six months after he died when most people could attend. His body wasn't in attendence but there were huge blow-ups of important times in his life. There were stories that we had friends and relatives prepare, some of the stories well known and some of them known only to the immediate family. There were songs in between the stories. And there was food and drinks to sustain those attending.

I had a great time organizing it. The organizing did distract me somewhat from deeper emotions but that was fine with me. I even led a song, and had a good time. I think most people had a good time as well, and left with a better sense of who my father really was.

I haven't a clue what father thought of this. He would have prefered something more modest but he didn't get a vote. Mother, however, was pleased.

The lesson to be learned. Do the best you can, but please don't waste a lot of money on an expensive casket and speakers who know nothing about the deceased.

Charley Noble