An old soldier was killed in action and denied entrance through the pearly door but sent the other direction.
In hell he ist told the bad tidings first: endless unbearable torture, and then the good tidings: he is free to choose any hell to serve his time in.
He is guided around, shouts and wailing everywhere, till he stops before a big door with the loudest roar and shouting behind.
"What kind of hell is this?" he asks.
"The military hell," the devil answers.
"And what is the special torture?"
"You are put on a gridiron, soaked with oil, and lit up."
"Oh my," the soldier says, "that doesn't sound worse than the other tortures I was shown, and I'll be with my buddies. So I'll go to this hell."
"O.K.," the devil says, opens the door and shoves him in.
The soldier can't trust his eyes. He is standing in a giant hall, with a long bar from end to end, and all soldiers in hell are standing there singing, shouting, and boozing like hell.
"Where am I here?" the soldier asks.
"In the military hell."
"But are we not supposed to be put on gridirons, soaked with oil, and then lit up?"
"Oh man - you are in MILITARY hell! Oil is under reserve, matches are in a bottleneck, and when both are available at the same time, the gridirons are away for maintenance!"

Sent in by an old S4