Gee, Mom. It certainly has been quiet since Amos went off to some male bonding/drum playing ritual. Wait a minute...Mom, you don't think that Amos...nah...Mom, is it true that Amos is the drummer for a heavy metal punk satanic rock group??? That his lovable, kind, intelligent persona is just a facade for a tone-deaf, skins-thumping, purple-Mohawked, leopard-skin-thong wearing, pierced and tattoed, devil-worshiping, Goth drummer??????? That he's even now out smashing up motel rooms and throwing toilet fixtures out of windows while getting drunk on cheap liquor and smoking lousy dope just because it's available?

I'll betcha I'm right!