Well tonight I will be mostly a crumbly old folk singer with dishevelled straw filled hair and badly dented guitar

I like dogs, but I couldn't eat a whole one

I see they have crossed a labrador and poodle to get a labradoodle

Will they cross it with a cockerel to get a labradoodle do

Cannibals won't eat folk singers - they're too disagreable

Don't forget CHRIS on 3 counties radio show; that starts 2pm