The ultimate crank was WC Fields.


Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.