As an only child, I was brought up in a very strict, 'over-protective' environment. Rules abounded - you can't go out with boys until you're 18, no discos, no going out after 8 o'clock, no staying the night with friends, etc. Me being me, there was only one course of action and I rebelled, big time. I developed a healthy dislike of my parents and did the opposite to what they ordered - whether I wanted to or not! And that's the important point, I think.

I always had a voice in my ear, telling me what was right or wrong but I mostly chose to disregard it because 'no one was going to tell me what to do'. The good thing was that in the end, I did listen to 'the voice' and calm down, get married and have 3 kids of my own.

Because I had (in my view) such an overstrict upbringing, I tried to think twice before deciding on anything with my kids, sort of, what would my parents have said and what would I then have done.. The answer I gave was hopefully, usually in the middle! With hindsight, I can see they (my parents) did things 'for my own good' but it's the way things were done that caused so much heartache.

So my recipe would be discuss, talk and talk some more - limit the outright 'NO' to things that really matter and let them make a few mistakes with the little things. It is so hard to let go - mine are now 18, 20 and 22 and it is still hard but so important if we want our kids to be responsible, mature adults.