cheers folks -

Reading that stuff it's like having been floundering in the ocean just to keep afloat only to find a big bouncy castle sized LI-LO rising up under you from the depths.

I'm kind of sitting up wobbling about feeling a bit giddy and deeply flattered (who says flattery has to be shallow).

You are all consistent in one thing though and that is the hard choice that I face.

It is easy to point out hard realities when you are not embroiled in a situation, but can be hard to face them and to be tough in ones decision making when you are. especially when the person in question is somebody that you have invested so much in time and feeling into and they are the mother of your child to boot.

Hearing responses based on a consistent pattern of "well done keep going" on the one hane and "wake up and smell the coffee" on the other helps to strengthen the heart, steel the nerves and focus the mind.

Were it just one or the other I might become absorbed by my ego on the one hand or defensive in the extreme on the other.

SINSULL, I am grateful for your invitation to PM you on the subject. However, my intention in throwing this at the mudcat was to reach as wide and varied an audience as possible so as to benefit from the diversity of perspectives available on this site.

The responses I have read so far have all been based on a minimum of information so far. To give a full and complete history would take a whole thread in itself.

I would therefore like to invite those of you who have experience and feel you have something of value to offer to ask me the questions that spring to mind. I have nothing to hide and I will give full frank answers explaining any ambiguities along the way.

It's all about getting to the bottom of "it" and making sure the advice really is "right"

cheers folks