Lox, you could go into the details for weeks and yet the basic problem is the same for all situations where a parent is an addict. The child needs to be safe. It doesn't matter what kinds of drama and stories you can tell us. Those of us who have had relationships with an alcoholic or addict have lots of long dramatic stories, too, but the bottom line is safety and creating a healthy environment for that child. That means being the parent should be either kept away from the child completely when they behave in a way that psychologically or physically endangers the child, or the contact should be limited to HIGHLY SUPERVISED visits, preferrably in a professionally supervised space as described in the "contact centre" post by Guest.

Remember you cannot change her! Get yourself to counseling for dealing with an addict! You will learn a healthier way to separate and protect from the damaging person and move into a healthier future for your child and yourself. I once had great advice given to me to think of an alcoholic I had to get away from - I was told to think of him as a stranger I've never met. His crazy life would go on and I could continue in a life separate from him. Positive Mental Attitude for you will help your child have a better childhood. Positive mental attitude means you do not dwell on what you can't control or change, and you can't control or change an addict. Let the past go. If you have to get it out, tell it to a counselor or write it down, then see it as gone and in the past. Going over and over her bad behavior will just keep you mired in the past. You need that energy to be spent on building a positive future.

Good Luck!