Well done on showing the iniative. Perhaps it was a wake up call, just not the type you envisaged, but in it's way even more important.

It let you see where your ex's priorities lay and armed with that knowledge you are now planning your daughter's future without any maybes or what ifs.

It'll be hard being two parents. And the pleasure of being able to share your daughter's successes with the other parent is being denied you. I hope you have good family/friends around you to help. And never feel ashamed to ask for help.

And already you have noticed the effect in your daughter of having the destabilising influence lessened. That must tell you that you are doing the right thing. So don't doubt yourself.

Yes, you now must ensure your daughter is safe when with her mother, because if it all goes pear shaped you will not only blame yourself but you will be left to deal with the consequences alone.

I hope you look into the option of a contact centre. It offers all three of you a solution regarding them seeing each other. But it removes the invariables.