That's ok, a bit of well meaning pedantry never hurt anyone.

But I probably didn't explain well enough - I don't think you actually have responsibilities to the NHS, well no more than any of us, and you have enough on your plate for it not to be taking up your energy. What I meant was by reporting her, getting a third party to confront her, possibly offer support etc you would be fulfilling your resposibilities to your daughter.

OK the knock on effect is that the NHS will maybe end up with an employee more suitable to her job than she is at present, but that isn't your concern at the moment, your daughter is.

I agree with you that contact shouldn't be entirely denied, but I do think it should be conditional, and those conditions start with the mother getting help. Otherwise she is accepting no responsibility at all for her actions, she will continue and your daughter will be let down and suffer because of it.

Parenthood comes with responsibilty and a full set of working ovaries doesn't qualify someone to the right to mother. I think as children get older they will, as you say, draw their own conclusions based on the actions of their errant parent, but your daughter is still so vulnerable and not equipped emotionally to draw those conclusions and deal with them.

I'm not you, but I wouldn't commence any form of contact until conditions are agreed to and acted upon. You said yourself she will let the child down eventually, why wait for the inevitable to happen, try and force her hand into that not being an option. If she doesn't agree to embark on a recovery programme she is telling you that she prefers speed over your daughter and she therefore should not be anywhere near her.

A solicitor will send letters detailing those conditions and follow up if they have been acted upon. You will have heaps of documentary evidence for your daughter for the future. She will not be in the dark at all about the reasons for the relationship breakdown. That is a plus, it won't boil down to 'she said he said.'

In an ideal world she will realise you mean business and get the help she needs.

I wasn't the guest who posted today, sorry for the confusion. The first time was about an hour ago and you replied to that. For this thread I shall be OWL, if that helps. Just because it is late, oh and my head spins around 360 degrees.

And now it's really late and I'm going to my nest.