Lox,

1. Read Dave's Wife's posts. Read them over-and-over-again. Read Barry Finn's posts. Read them over-and-over again.

2. From what you have said about your ex, she would be questionable as a parent even without the drug issues. Sounds like she is totally lacking in insight, and if she is severely borderline, or severely narcissistic or severely antisocial, she probably couldn't make much use of any insight she may develop. Her prognosis is guarded at best, and probably very poor. I am a psychotherapist and work with many people like her, as well as with many people who were raised by people like her. You can not assume that your daughter is better off having some kind of relationship with her mother. In addition to legal counsel, I strongly recommend you speak frankly and at length with an experienced child therapist, and listen carefully to what they advise. There are many, MANY, boundary issues in evidence from your posts, and I don't care how healthy or normal you may be yourself, when dealing with someone like your ex, you need help and support. The chaos that circles around some one who is significantly borderline reflects the chaos within them, and becomes like a mist or fog that blurs reality for those in association with them.

3. You absolutely can not assume your daughter is not at risk of being molested when in her mother's 'care'.

Janie

P.S.   This truly is an aside, and not at all about your primary concern-your daughter- but I have to say I am very concerned about patients in her care also. Psychiatric patients are an extremely vulnerable population and those of us who provide services are in a position to cause significant harm that can reverberate throughout the patient's life and negatively impact all future mental health care.

J.