The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #1854563
Posted By: Rapparee
09-Oct-06 - 08:50 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
I've never been kissed by a prince. One tried, but got beard burn so bad he had to go to the emergency room.

There was this princess though...mmmmmmmmmm...enough of that! I have a Big Important Thing to post!

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.

2. Set timer for 2 minutes, just in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand just in case you can't remember.

6. Keep the Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Extra-Strength Tylenol ready just in case you actually
complete what you started.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it happens, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.