I looked at that list and decided to ignore it, just like last year...

I have provided some hints (modified slightly from last year) to help and and all future Secret Santas, listed in more or less, but not necessarily, descending order of preference. Just go down the list till you reach a point at which you are comfortable, and remember, it's not the value of the gift, but the thought that counts. Of course, monetary value to a degree will offset rudeness and ill feeling, so you can insult me as much as you want, provided it is in balance...

Gold Bullion bars. For ease of accounting, please supply in complete dump truck loads - if you are not a Bruce Willis Fan, I expect this one will go completely over your head... :-)

Ditto, Silver bullion...

Jewellery, Gold (with stone settings if desired) of sufficient value that merits not melting it down. For ease of accounting please supply in complete container loads ...

Ditto, Silver...

Jewellery, Gold (with stone settings if desired) of sufficiently lesser value that merits melting it down. For ease of accounting please supply in complete container loads ...

Ditto Silver...

Precious Stones. For ease of accounting please supply in complete pallet loads ...

Ditto, Semiprecious Stones...

Negotiable Bearer Bonds. For ease of accounting please supply in complete pallet loads ...

Music, your personal CDs - single copies...

Music, your personal CDs - multiple copies...

Non-Australian food or sweets or biscuits that will definitely be unavailable in Australia - be careful though as some things such as meats etc, will definitely be seized by Customs. No 'diet stuff' though as I can't stand the taste of artificial sweeteners, and yes I CAN taste most of them, apart from some of them giving me the runs etc. I'm a tea and coffee fan, and I prefer dark chocolate - the best I have found so far is the Lindt 85%.

Sheet Music (I can read anything up to full orchestral/band/choral scores - no wuckers mate!), or books new or secondhand, almost any topic. I don't have 'Rise Up Singing'... but anything old that you pick up secondhand will be appreciated. My tastes are eclectic and wide ranging, so those weird and wonderful old books from the turn of the century (I often collect them just for the tunes therein) that show you how to learn any instrument, I also like many old Oak (Music) Publications, or attempt to explain the theory of flight in the 1920's, or First Aid in WWI, or 'etiquette for young maids' etc, or anything that you think "Who the hell would want this?"... I am a 'Renaissance Man', and interested in things technical as well as artistic. Some thing like a programming manual for a Univac, or a magnetic memory core plane, for instance... I play anything keyboard (piano, harpsichord, pipe & reed organs, piano accordions), whistles, Symphonie (hurdiegurdy), hammered dulcimer, Appalachian dulcimer, autoharp, misc percussion, but also I have some old 'folk music for guitar/banjo/etc' books. I am concentrating on my collecting these days in the music field, but that is not essential - if you see something that screams 'Weird Shit Man'...'

BTW, I have the full set of Mudcat CDs.... Weird Shit Man...

I am into humour too BTW. If you want to learn something about me, see my profile, or visit http://homepage.powerup.com.au/~rhayes/vfoolshm.htm - my personal page is off that.... Weird Shit Man...

If you want to send me a T-shirt - I am about 6 ft tall and nearly 200 lbs. at least XL - 110cm + chest size - cotton ones shrink, you know. XXL or larger - I like to wear the really large ones as night shirts. I don't yet have a Mudcat one. I like Royal/Navy blue.

Things don't have to be brand new - see the bit on old books, music, etc above. Old or unusual instruments - they don't have to be big or expensive.

Favourite author - Robert Aspirin - don't have his last one, and they won't bring them into Australia. for some stupid reason.

Spme previous year's "hits":
Some real Maple Syrup, in a cute bottle! Yum!
Special Booze!
A whole bunch of different Jokers from playing Card decks.
Some various old books, including music.
A cute little Commedia-del-arte style 'fool'


Robin