I will just come out of retirement and say to you Widows Son that I felt the same about Masonry when I joined ."What the hell have I got myself into here" as you progress however the ritual,the regalia,the signs etc start to become clear,the tradition etc There should be many members in your lodge who will answer your concerns.You have joined a society Worldwide ,you will be welcomed into any Lodge Worlwide.Stick with it and ignore the likes of Guest and many others who's only aim is to discredit the fine work that Masons do.Like me decide for yourself,stick it out,visit other lodges ,enjoy the subtle differences in the ritual from one lodge to another and make new friends.
Goodbye to this discussion
Al