Dani, I am now feeling very disempowered and I can feel my self-esteem draining away. I can barely summon the willpower to put finger to keyboard. I may require a quick infusion of my favourite 8 year old Irish whisky.

As for Mick in a kilt in Maryland, the talk about it hasn't really attained the status of rumour - it's more in the nature of sober intellectual inquiry. One has heard that Mick possesses a kilt. One is intrigued, but one wonders if the world is ready for the sight.

I forgive you for your harsh words about kilt wearers. I'll have you know that my knees have won rave reviews from the cognoscenti.