"...you don't think I asked for a 12" pianist, do you?"

"...I dunno", says the bartender, "he just sits back there, licking his eyebrows."

"...and the Texan hollers, "for God's sake don't flush it!"

"...and bartender puts his thumb on the ant and says "sorry about that."

"..."well", says Paddy, "The first one always tastes terrible, and the last one always gets me into trouble at home."

"...hi, there, Little Fuck!"

"...oh, we've settled that...we're just haggling over the price."

"...and the rhinocerous says, "At these prices, I'm not surprised."

"...why no, I'm a frayed knot!"

"...it must've been that bar bitch you ate."

"...snnnffff...no, no! Too near ze ass!"