jOKE, sounds like a case for the german musicianer song.
    try the piano accordion, but be wary of the inherent difficulties of this instument, remember to use plenty of finger attack to get staccato, and work on bellows as much as you can to avoid lack of rhythm[ a common failing of piano accordionists] and try and be light on the basses. Phil Cunningham is a piano accordionist you should listen to.