It was certainly sung at our school in West Yorkshire when I was 4 in 1981 and I suppose it had been going longer than that before.

I was walking down the lane when I felt a sudden pain
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft),
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)

I went behind a bush and it came out in a rush
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)

I tried to make a bung but it trickled down mi thumb
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)


It shot out of mi bum like a bullet from a gun
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)


I tried to ride mi bike but mi arse felt like a spike
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)

I went to the shop and mi knickers went pop!
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)
dioarrhoea, (pfffft, pffft)



There was never a tune to it, more like a rap really!