The Scotsman's Mardi Gras (Tune: Clementine)

I'm a Scotsman, a humble Scotsman
Mardi Gras-ing I long to go
But a problem I've been given
Cos I'll have nothing to throw.

Tossing cabers, throwing hammers,
There are times I've done my share
But what is the world coming to
When they're tossing underwear?

Throwing stuff just don't come easy
Scots are used to holding tight
But parading without tossing
Nowadays just don't seem right

There's an answer to the problem
I'll parade along the road
Others toss their bras and panties
I just spray the crowd with woad!