Haddaway Villan Man!!! Scousers DO have an alphabet

A is for 'orses
B for Pork
C for yourself
D f' iciency
E for you do or E for you don't
F for vescent
etc etc etc

As to me writin'! When aah moved south with me Mam in 1965 we cuddent afford forruz te gan te school aall week and although aah larned te speak Englandish, aah nivvor larned te write it.

Me brother can write English but 'e aalways wez the clevvor one - He's at University in Edinburgh noo! In a jar in the laboratory.

Paul Borke has gorrit reet though! But PLEASE divvent gerruz started on the yanks - If THEY wrote as they speak..... Oh! They dee!

As for Grammar - Mine's still livin' wi' me Grandad!