Gosh, I'd forgotten about this thread. I did manage to find a reading in Black Country dialect for the service and it went down well.

Undiscerning people still keep accusing me of being a Brummie, although my accent is a bit mixed up with South Shropshire these days (I've lived in the wilds for 25 years).

When I was a lad Smethwick was in Staffordshire. In fact, just down the road was the Three Shires Oak (a pub had taken the place of the tree) which marked the boundaries of Staffs, Warwicks and a little detached bit of Shropshire. In fact my school (Holly Lodge) badge had the Staffordshire knot as part of the arms.

I never did say thanks to those who posted with helpful suggestions - thanks!