My SS, you're a poet,
I gather from your Clues.
So here's my list; I know it
Will be of help to youse.

I'm sorry, but I had to
Write out my Hints in prose.
If they rhymed, I'd be glad to,
But that's the way it goes.


1. What is your age range? I don't know my range's age. My age is Immature (actually, it's 50 -- wahhh!). The first person who gives me a Red Hat is gonna git a whuppin'.

2. Gender? Female.

3. Do you have a favorite color? Blue hues, especially turquoise and aqua (not navy blue). I also like lavender, indigo, purple, purple-red, black. I don't usually wear brown and orange.

4. Favorite authors/type of book? I'm not much of a reader of novels. I'm fascinated by books researching early Christianity, the Gnostics and other early sects, and the politics behind the choices of material included in and banned from the Bible. Fave author is Elaine Pagels (see number 5, below, for a book of hers that I do not yet own). Books on songwriting would be nice (I have Steve Gillette's already), especially on writing humorous songs or writing songs for theatrical shows.

5. What books have you really been wanting? Elaine Pagels's book "The Johannine Gospel in Gnostic Exegesis: Heracleon's Commentary on John" (dry reading, I know). Lillian Jackson Braun's "The Cat Who Dropped a Bombshell". Any book in the "Weird USA" series, including "Weird USA" itself but especially "Weird Pennsylvania" or the "Weird" series' book about your state!

6. What type of music do you like? Humor, humor, humor -- the punny, the lyrically clever, the offbeat, the darkly strange (but not the profane). To give you a sample of my tastes, I already have the complete collection of Tom Lehrer songs, all of Lou and Peter Berryman's CDs, a CD of songs from Monty Python, and the "My Son the Box" collection of Allan Sherman songs. I'm not a big fan of modern jazz, rap or New Age music -- I'm more of an "Old Age" type (Irving Berlin and Gershwin and Cole Porter show tunes, bluegrass, Appalachian/Carter Family). Sea chanties are great, too. I would be interested in acoustic-music CDs by singer/songwriters who are from your area and/or who you really like.

7. What CDs have you really been wanting? Anything by Grant Baynham. Allan Sherman's "Peter and the Commissar". Any Spike Jones collection (except the Christmas CD). Anything by Stan Freberg (except "Stan Freberg presents the History of America, Volumes 1 and 2"). A CD of your own songs, if you have it.

8a. What movies have you been wanting? I'm not much of a movie watcher. I would like to have a copy of "The Producers", though. There's also a DVD entitled "Recording the Producers: A Musical Romp with Mel Brooks" that sounds like fun.

8b. What region DVDs can you view? I don't even know what that means. You know where I live, if that helps.

9. What is your t-shirt size? Large. Please, no designs with flowers. I used to work for a seed company, and I've OD'd on pictures of flowers.

10. Do you collect anything? if so, what? Anything that has anything to do with cats! Currently I own -- or more accurately am caregiver to -- a brown torbie (tortoiseshell tabby, i.e. brown with dark stripes and orange patches & flecks), so I'm always on the lookout for cat stuff of that color (figurines, pins, Christmas ornaments, etc.). I'm also seeking small, unusual rhythm instruments. Aside from those, I'm trying to curb my "collecting habit" -- my place is stuffed with stuff!!!

11. What are some of your other hobbies? Ummmm... I've played guitar for some 30 years but right now I'm learning to play more proficiently on mandolin, bass and dumbek. I'm trying to improve my songwriting skills. I can't think of any "hobbies" as such. Gee, I'm really boring! *grin*

12. Do you prefer gold-tone or silver-tone jewelry? Either is fine, beads too, but I don't wear jewelry often. BTW, my ears are not pierced.

13. Please include anything else you feel is important that would help your Secret Santa know what you would like. I have a lot of dietary restrictions, so no food, please. I have a respiratory condition that is aggravated by fragrances, so no perfumes, colognes, incense, aromatherapy or candles, please. My lungs are super-sensitive to newspaper-printing inks, too, so please don't wrap anything in newspaper. As others have said, it would be nice to receive something from or about your area!


Please send a gift, kind Santa.
At my P.O. [Post Office], I'll seek it.
On Christmas Day, I wanta
Know your ID. Please leak it!

Sharon