My recent research has indicated that overuse of the word "perhaps" can lead to sterility and impotency as well as general mental and physical deterioration. This may be because "perhaps" is a word that refuses to commit itself definitely one way or another. Test subjects began to show symptoms of general debilitation when they used the word "perhaps" more than seven times in one hour or 85 times in one day, and they also began to ramble on in a fashion which could be amusing to some, confusing to others, and irritating to still others, depending on various different personality factors.

The message is clear: restrict your use of the word "perhaps" to an absolute minimum in order to avoid ill effects!