I expressed my views amply in the last round of "guns" threads, so I won't get into them again here. I have been just heartsick since I read the initial post on this thread. All of those affected by this event will be forever changed for the worse, and there are no words I can find to express my sorrow for the family of that little girl.

A cousin of mine recently lost his life because he was drunk and playing with a gun and it went off. How stupid is that? Yet some statistics indicate that more handgun deaths are attributable to accident than to malicious intent. If he had been drunk and playing with a baseball bat, he'd just be a stupid kid with a bruise on his head.

I grew up in Ohio, where lots of people hunt and deer season is a holiday in its own right. I never did hunt myself, but my male relatives and friends did. My grandfather kept his guns locked in a glass-front cabinet in the den. To the best of my knowledge, none of us ever tried to get in there, and I've no idea where the bullets were kept. I never thought about guns one way or the other really.

When I was 16, I went out to a hunting cabin owned by my boyriend's step-father. The three friends I was with all brought guns, a couple of handguns and a rifle of some sort. They were the first I'd ever seen that weren't behind glass. I don't know where they came from exactly; the rifle was somebody's hunting equipment and the handguns belonged to someone's father or uncle or something. The boys set up targets and shot a few rounds and then ran around in the woods shooting randomly up at the trees. I stayed up near the cabin. With us was my boyfriend's bratty six year old brother, Thomas. He was all over the place, so hyped up at being out in the woods with the big boys. They even let him try to shoot. Several times, someone had to pull him back as he tried to run out into the range of the bullets.

And nothing happened. I was uncomfortable being out there where we weren't supposed to be, so I decided we were going home and since it was my car we did. I didn't like the guns, but I didn't think that much of it. I was a smart girl in most respects but apparently very stupid as well. We weren't even supposed to be out there, especially with guns and let alone with guns and Thomas. I don't even know what I was thinking then, but now I think that we are lucky that nothing terrible happened. You'd never find me in that situation in a million years now. I haven't thought of it in years before today.

I think that's how so many of these things happen; stupid people take stupid chances and they are not all as lucky as we were. Those boys were always in trouble, but what was I doing there? And why was Thomas there? His brother could barely take care of himself; I can't even think what might have happened if I hadn't been there to take Thomas back up to the cabin when I saw what was happeining.

It was harder to get beer than it was to get those guns. It shouldn't be that way. I worked in public schools for a while, and I believe in them very strongly. But I don't know where my future children will be attending kindergarten; if it's not at my kitchen table, it may well be Canada or some other, saner country.

Thanks for listening (if you got this far!)

Peace and love.

Cara