Politically incorrect warning:

(c e g a g a g c b a (no pause) g a g a g c g e (no pause) c d c d c d e f e, low g, d, low g, c)
  
      G7
  As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
        C     C°     C      (repeat)
  I've got a little list--I've got a little list
  Of society offenders who might well be underground,
           C      C°                  D7              G
  And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
  
               C                           Dm/F
  There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs--
        C/G                            D7/A
  All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs--
        G               C                 G                 C
  All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat--
       E7              Am                   E7                  Am
  All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that--
      C°|Bbm                                               
  And all third persons who on spoiling tete-a-tetes insist--
          G°              G             D7             G
  They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
  
       7               C/E        G7              C
  He's got 'em on the list-- He's got 'em on the list;
               /E 7           F              C       G7      C
  And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed.
  
  There's the nigger serenader, and the others of his race,
  And the piano-organist--I've got him on the list!
  And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
  They never would be missed--they never would be missed!
  Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
  All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
  And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
  And who "doesn't think she waltzes, but would rather like to try";
  And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist--
  I don't think she'd be missed--I'm sure she'd not he missed!
  
  CHORUS.        He's got her on the list--
          he's got her on the list;
          And I don't think she'll be missed--
          I'm sure she'll not be missed!
  
  And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
  The Judicial humorist--I've got him on the list!
  All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life--
  They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
  And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
  Such as--What d'ye call him--Thing'em-bob, and likewise--Never-mind,
  And 'St--'st--'st--and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who--
  The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
  But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
  For they'd none of 'em be missed--
  they'd none of 'em be missed!
  
  You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
  And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!
  
  (All same speed: (C°) high g f# f e d c b d lowg b c)
  
  [Ko-Ko's aria from The Mikado]